Chicken and Spices

My girlfriend and I are cooking dinner together tonight. We’re having roasted chicken with roasted potatoes and onions. The smell filling the house now is extraordinary!

I mostly do the cooking for the two of us, doing it right after I get home from work most nights. I don’t mind really, since my passion for cooking is surpassed only by my passion for teaching and writing. However, I noticed something tonight when my girlfriend started to work with me. She uses very little spices. Most of the flavors that comes out of that meal are from natural flavors, like the lemon she squeezed on it, the dash of salt and pepper, and lastly the two or three sprigs of rosemary (grown from my own garden!!). When I cook, I use a lot of other spices, like paprika, chili powder, garlic, and other seasonings that taste great but mask the overall flavor of the meal. With her methods, it would bring out the very best in everything that is part of meal. Simple flavors that are impacting and leave any person craving more.

Naturally, I started to think about this and how it applies to my life in ways other than eating and cooking. How many times have I tried to over complicate things? How many instances do I unconsciously mask the natural goodness of different situations? This might be part of the reason why I stress out too much. Sometimes, I wake up in a panic. There really isn’t a real rhyme or reason, simply just that I have put it in my own head the ‘need’ to stress.

While I’m work I feel useless unless I’m so overworked and stressed out that I can barely think. One time, I caught myself creating work for myself for the sake of staying busy. There have been several times in which my supervisors would tell me that I need to slow down and take it easy. I try to, but then the original problem returns: uselessness.

Is this normal? Am I the only one capable of doing this to myself? Does anyone else out there put too many spices on their chicken?

Made by my very own special lady friend.

In writing this post, the solution has made itself quite clear to me: stop stressing. Allow life to just happen and stop trying to control things. Stop trying to make something more complex than it needs to be. I’m forgetting about the simple things that make me smile, make me laugh, allow me to forget about work. We all need reminding every now and then and this delicious chicken dinner was mine.

What’s yours?

A Sense of Closure

I just found out that someone I knew from high school passed away earlier this week. I believe he had cancer or something, not entirely sure of the details. But some people who have been posting on Facebook keep insinuating that he was suffering.

These types of situations really bring me down. I knew the kid in high school and he was beyond brilliant. He built robots and programmed computers for the Information Technology program at our school. He took the robotics team to national-level competition while completely revamping the school’s website to make it more interactive and attractive. His drive to succeed was second only to his eagerness to learn. Yet, he fought a losing battle and over time, whatever it was finally bested him.

I pray that his family goes through the grieving process with some guidance and lots of love from family and friends. This is an incredibly raw time for all of them, I’m sure, and nothing feels better than a supporting hand on the shoulder.

My friend, you will be missed. Your warmth and smile was your best characteristic and will continue to inspire everyone you touched.

Rest easy…

Wine and Rain

I’m sitting my house, glass of wine nearby, listening to the melodious pitter patter of the rain hitting the roof and occasional booming of thunder. The house is completely dark save the the light coming from the computer screen and silent minus the natural noises from outside.  The lovely lady is out at a reception that she’s working for the on-campus museum so the house is empty, quite unlike my mind.

I really like these times because it allows me to open my head (metaphorically, of course…) and sort everything out.

Reflecting is like watching yourself in the mirror (hence the origination of the term ‘reflect’ I would assume…). Unless you’re in a hurry and just looking at the outside, you can’t just reflect for a second. It has to be a good, solid block of time that is uninterrupted, quiet, and most importantly, YOURS. Reflections are really interesting to me in the sense that I feel I always get something out of it. Always. Whether it’s a life lesson that I’m teaching myself, a realization about a situation that I have found myself in, or just my grasp on what my life is supposed to contain, I constantly find something that is beneficial to me. Something that I can take with me outside of my mind. A nugget that will remain with me for a while. Perhaps I could even share with other people this nugget of self-realization.

In today’s case (I reflect about 12.5% more than the average person. Don’t ask for the sources to that statistic…) I thought about what I want in life. While I love what I’m doing now and haven’t had a morning yet in which I wake up dreading the day, I don’t want to do this for the rest of my life. I want to inspire people to become life changers, and it’s really hard to do that with a bunch of kids aged 5 through 12. I want to work with older kids, teach them that there is more to life than driving and smooching. I want to be that person that people grow up remembering as the teacher/professor who helped them with the toughest parts of their lives.

It’s really difficult to put into words what I want in life. Maybe it’s because I’m so busy being involved in everyone else’s lives that I forget to think about about my own sometimes. What I want is for everyone, including myself, to be happy. If I can achieve that, then I have done something worthy.

Muffins

I woke up today feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the next two weeks, which will be very difficult. I have loads to do at work and I’m thinking of bringing some of the paperwork home just to take some of the pressure off at work. I have a lot planned for my workplace and for the kids here, but as with any good plans, the prerequisite for success is hard work and deep commitment.

I’m realizing more and more each day that I stress too much. I take something that is very small, barely discernible, and I amount it to something that is more than a mountain. I can’t say whether or not it’s hereditary, or that it might be a habit that I have somehow gotten myself into. Either way, with every passing minute, I’m getting more conscious of that. This past weekend, there was plenty that I would have considered stressful, but I believe I dealt with it accordingly. I felt better about everything, I found positive outputs of that negative energy (gardening, cleaning, laundry, etc.) and I smiled after a while. I know this might sound infantile at the very least, but it’s an accomplishment for me. 

This past weekend, we had a trip for the kids to an anti-bullying fair in a neighboring city. It was a lot of fun! Kids had a great time, staff was happy, and the food was great too! It was so fun out there that I got a sunburn. I took a picture for you all to laugh at, which is fine. I enjoy the humor! Don’t mind the oversized sign behind me. A couple of my high schoolers made that for me over the summer (hence the date 6-26-12) and I decided to hang it up above my desk. It’s what I do.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently (big surprise, eh?). I’d like to get into writing another book. Very few people know that I have a book out. I wrote it about four years ago and it’s amateur-ish at best, but I was really excited about the prospect of having a book up for sale on Amazon. I believe it’s no more than 65 pages long, but it something that I really poured a lot of time and energy into. While the writing may not be all that great, it’s something that I can call mine. So far it has sold one copy. I was that sole purchaser. 

But getting back to the point, I think I’d like to write another book. I’m not sure which direction I’ll take it, whether it will be fiction or non-fiction, inspirational or frightening. Either way, this is another way I’m using this blog, to gather ideas and formulate my writing style. 

Of course, I’m open to ideas. 

Open for anything, really.

Even a muffin.

Anonymity

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.” -Matthew 5:16

A really good friend of mine reminded me of this wonderful little bit of Scripture the other day in response to an earlier post. I have never met this friend before, but I do know that he is one of the most genuine people I know and a true Follower of Christ.

I decided that I wanted to dedicate a post to the above Scripture because the meaning really hits home for me. I have always striven to be one of the most caring, patient, light-hearted individuals anyone can know and the way I try to live like this is… well, that’s just it: I live like that. I do a lot for other people and I have never asked for or sought any type of recognition or praise. In fact, when I do something for somebody, I very rarely point out the fact that I performed that task. 

Imagine for a second you’re a teacher. You come in from lunch and your students are already in place, waiting for the lesson to start. Throughout the usual hum of them talking to each other and performing last minute changes to their homework, you walk over to your desk to set your things down, gather lesson plans and begin the session. However, you notice that there is (yes, I’m going to be stereotypical for a second…) an apple. A delicious, plump, red, shiny apple. You are pleasantly surprised and taken aback at the thoughtfulness of the student(s) who placed the surprise there. Three seconds later, that surprise is turned to slight irritation as the student who placed the apple on your desk is now dancing up and down in their seat, trying to get your attention to tell you that they were the one who put it there.

“Teacher, teacher, I was the one who put that apple on your desk! Don’t you like it? I thought of you at lunch! Wasn’t that great? Aren’t I the greatest student ever? I’m amazing, right? Right?? RIGHT?!?!”

That might be a slight exaggeration, but I believe the point has been driven. Most people don’t like to be pestered for a response after they have discovered the surprise and they certainly don’t want to feel obligated to thank them a hundred times and dub that person the Nicest Person in the World.

Coming back to the Scripture, to put it simply, it’s saying that your awesomeness comes through your actions, not your words. If you have to point out to a hundred people that you fed the homeless, then the value of the deed is lowered. It’s not that special anymore. 

Let’s consider that next time we ‘do something nice’ for someone. Let them discover it on their own and have the self-satisfaction of knowing that it’s appreciated. Anonymity can be our best friend and most powerful ally.  

Day of Remembrance

As all American are aware, today is a day of remembrance. There is a lot of pain that comes with the anniversary of the September 11th attacks. A lot of people still consider it fresh on their minds and ceremonies are still held every year to honor citizens who perished or showed bravery on that horrific day. I pray continuously for the families of these people that they can perhaps one day find closure.

Personally, the attacks hurt me in many ways. Without going into details about what happened or anything like that, I feel that as a nation we all hurt. Some of us lost some family members or friends, others are just hurt because their veil of safety was breached.

Either way, I believe this is a good day to reach out to others. While we’re doing it under the shadow of the events that transpired 11 years ago, we could definitely reach out to others without a hidden agenda. Today would be an excellent day to thank our city officials who put their lives on the line every day for us (firefighters, police officers, paramedics, etc.). We could also be appreciative of the people around us. As human beings, it’s in our blood to be social creatures and without our family and friends, we’re nothing.

Reach out, touch those around you, and smile. It will make someone feel so much better than you can ever imagine.

Godspeed.

It is what it is…

This has become my new motto over the past couple of months. Lots of stress and even more headaches. But as I live day to day, week to week, I’m noticing that less and less of the world is waiting up for me. I could sit there and give excuses for everything that has gone wrong with me or my surroundings. I would be able to sit and point the blame elsewhere. Instead, I have learned that the responsibility for my life is… my own.

Work has me by the throat. Despite the graphic analogy, it is quite a good thing. I’m busier than I have ever been in any job. I’m constantly thinking of ways to improve everything in my workplace. I have an awesome team with me and an extraordinary group of kids. My involvement in my work has become one of the things I’m most proud of. That being said, I’m starting to see that I’m deteriorating. Not in the sense that it’s become too much to handle, but in the sense that I’m starting to complain a lot. I get home every night and instead of being thankful for having a job and getting some income, I find small things and I blow them so far out of proportion. 

One time, as I was having a rant session with my lovely lady, she stopped me in mid-sentence and brought my attention to the fact that while she was willing to listen to my quips and complaints, I had to realize that every job has that type of stress. It wouldn’t be a job if that wasn’t the case! I couldn’t agree more. So after that, I adopted the phrase, “It is what it is…” and it became mine. Whatever life will throw at me, I will catch it and deal with it the best that I can. If that’s not good enough during that point in time, well then…nothing I can do beyond that. 

This isn’t to say that I don’t care about anything; on the contrary, I care about everything! That was one of my biggest issues. I cared too much. I am realizing that this world will keep spinning and the sun will rise tomorrow regardless of the fact whether or not I finished my paperwork or if someone in my workplace has become intolerable. Society will not give two rats’ tails about my stress level, so in turn, I just need to deal with it. Yes, it’s good to vent every now and again, but the listeners at some point become tired, disinterested, turned off… whatever you want to say. Pretty soon, nobody is going to want to listen because you’d be the Bringer of Bad News. “Here comes Chance, let’s see what he complains about now…” I don’t want people, especially my dearest friends and lovely lady, to think that about me! So instead of worrying about every little thing, I just say to myself (sometimes audibly), “It is what it is, Chance. Nothing you can do about it right now. Just move on and come back later if you have to.”

 

I’m in Love

There’s no other way to put it. I’m so deeply in love right now, it’s frightening to me. Does that make me obsessive? No, I don’t think so, but I know that it makes me smile and when I smile, the people around me feel the same way. 

Last night, I made gnocchi for the first time… FROM SCRATCH!!! I must say, I didn’t know I had it in me, but when it came out of the pot and I tried one, it was a blast from Heaven itself. Not to toot my own horn of course, but this was better than store bought gnocchi! I thought about it later on last night and realized that the ingredients had nothing to do with it. It was the amount of work and (hold on to your horses…) LOVE I put into the preparation. I spent almost an hour making every single piece by hand and dropping it into the boiling water. It was glorious. And to see the smile on my lady friend’s face was the biggest catch of it all. 

Naturally, this got me thinking about how I walk through every day and deal with the daily ‘recipes’ that I encounter on a regular basis. How much TIME do I put into them? How much LOVE? Do I spend those two commodities on myself or on the people around me?

First of all, I don’t think I spend enough time or energy on things that don’t directly benefit me, especially out of the workplace. I am constantly clouding my mind with to-do lists and ideas about what to do at work, even while I’m home! There are times in which I catch myself thinking about work on dates with my girlfriend. I’m becoming more and more distant and I need to catch myself before I’m too far away. After last night’s escapades with the gnocchi, I started applying that love and time to my girlfriend and I noticed that she was happier and I was… well, more involved! Granted, we were only up for a couple more hours after dinner, but it was a change! Even this morning as I said my daily goodbyes with her as I left for work and she for school that there was just a more positive attitude altogether.

I guess what I’m trying to get across is that relationships, just like great dishes of food, need to be tended to and prepared by hand. You can’t buy a significant other at the store. You can’t leave your relationship on the back burner to simmer for hours without checking on it and expecting it be perfect when you’re ready to eat. Cooking is a lot like life. The more work and effort your put into it, especially to the details, the more you’ll get out of it. 

But then again, what do I know? All I did was make homemade gnocchi for the first time. 

😀

New Realizations Everywhere I Turn…

I realized today as I rolled out of bed that I haven’t written anything in a long time. I love writing, whether it’s on here as a blog, in a journal or just on some Word document on the computer to get some ideas out. The bad thing about that is that I have so much I want to say/write that it’s itching to burst out of me and it mentally hurts. So in lieu of that realization, I’m recommitting myself to writing again, hopefully more on this site than other places because I’m hoping that some people will actually be interested in reading this as opposed to trying to break into my house and reading my personal journal (do people do that?).

I’m learning more and more about myself as the days go on. I’m almost 26, and I believe my maturity level has far exceeded my age level. I have seen and experienced more than most people in their 50s. I’m not saying I’m better than anyone by any means, it’s just that between my spirituality, my personal life and work ethics, I think I can safely say that I’m a grown up. In some ways, it’s scary; in other ways, I’m excited. I look like an adult but I feel like a kid most times. Sometimes, I laugh at the stupidest things and people look at me like I’m weird. Other times, I’m as stoic as they come, not moving a facial muscle for anything.

Lately, however, I’ve been noticing that my mood has been deteriorating, especially at home. I’m not sure as to the reason(s) why, either, which makes it even more unbelievable for me. I love my girlfriend (with whom I live with…) and I love my dog and love my living situation. I just can’t get this ‘depression’ out of my system. Lately, I have been trying really hard to get that fixed. I try to laugh more, I try to see the light in everything, and I’ve even been cooking more. Cooking is one of my deepest passions and it’s something that provides an end result that I can share with others.

Along with cooking, writing is another passion of mine. That brings me back to the point of the title above this particular post. It was a major realization for me that I haven’t been writing lately and maybe that’s the issue I’m having. Maybe this is my mind’s way of telling me that I need to exercise my God-given talent more, even if it doesn’t get read by anyone. So this is my promise to you (or me, depending on whether or not I’m the only person reading this): I’m going to write more and more. I might even run out of space. I’ll start writing on my hands, my walls, my car… even my shoes will have writing on them! Ok, maybe not, but still, I plan on getting more and more out of my head. If I can’t, it’ll explode. If that happens, I’d be headless. We can’t have a Headless Chance running around. That would be chaotic. Chaotically funny.

Too Long

It’s been a while since I posted on here. I’m not sure why. I really have tons of things to write about, but the process of gaining the time and energy to sit down and type it all out seems to be more than I can bear sometimes. Not really the trait of a ‘wannabe writer’, is it? That’s ok. They say the first step to recovery is admitting I have a problem.

This past weekend was fantastic. Very restful and peaceful. Last week was something pulled out of the deepest abyss of Hell. It was Spring Break for the kids, so the staff was required to be at the Club at least ten hours a day. While I had fun with the kiddies, it still took a lot out of us. That’s another reason why this weekend was something really needed.

This upcoming week, I have some projects I want to finish up at work. Hopefully this will set me up nicely to be able to coast until the end of the school year. Summer is almost upon us and with that, more 10+ hour work days. While the money will be much appreciated, it’s still something that requires a lot more work on my part. That’s ok, though. It’s my job and as far as I’m concerned, I’m better off than 12% of Americans who are still unemployed. Will not complain.

Finally saw that ‘Hunger Games’ movie tonight. It was ok, seeing as it was given such popular ratings. I haven’t read the books and after seeing the movie, I might. Haven’t really decided about that yet. The movie has a really interesting concept though, it was just extraordinarily long. Even Shannon said something about it being long-winded, and coming from her, has to mean something.

I’m hoping to get some people to read this regularly sometime soon. As I believe I said in my first post, I’m not looking to be a NewYork Best Seller author, but it would be nice to have a small but loyal audience. I would hate to do all of this writing for naught. Then again, what exactly do I expect people to do with their extra time? Read about Chance’s not-so-interesting life? Honestly, my life isn’t that glorious, certainly no more glorious than the average American of 25 years. Who knows, maybe I’ll have a small following.

Until then, it’s to the stars with my writing.